Tomorrow is a bittersweet day for me,not much unlike Christmas. Tomorrow is Mothers Day. As a mom its celebrated with gifts,half cooked food and hand made pictures. As a daughter its a glaring reminder of whats missing on this day. 21 years ago I lost her to fucking leukemia and its shaped alot of who I am today. Some of that's for the better and some not so much. Its still like it was just yesterday that I was pulled out of health class to make the car ride to Northwestern downtown to say goodbye to her before they took her off the machines. The last hug I got to give her.... The last one she gave me was 3 days prior....Sunday night before I left the hospital,before I went back to stay with my aunt. It was the last time I heard her voice,felt her touch or got to tell her I loved her. So tomorrow I get up,plaster a smile on my face for the kids and hide the hurt.
We've been here now for a few months and things are actually alot better here then Morgantown ever was. The kids have begun to thrive and blossom into awesome lil people. John is opening up and trying new things. Ive gotten more outgoing (sorta). Most fucked up thing? We have friends. Legit friends not just the kind who live in the little electronic boxes on my desk or on the entertainment center.
Now if I could only find a cheap babysitter so We could actually have adult time....that would be awesome.
