What is your most prized possession?
I have several possessions I would consider prized and a few that were,yet are only a memory now. I would have to say my crystal bells are still a rather loved and cherished set of items I have. As well as my collection of fandom items that I have gathered over time.
Why do you value it?
The bells were originally my mom's and were something I would consistently play with when they were on her nick knack shelves in the kitchen.
My fandom merch I cherish because of my Dad. Its not so much what the items are or even the fandoms they represent, but collecting was something he did. In his case it was Nascar merch and he had me help him with it. So every time I add more to my fandom stuff I think of him.
How did you come across it?
Well the collections started a few years ago with a few my little pony items,then Doctor Who stuff got added in,followed by Supernatural merch and various Comic/gamer stuff.
My bells were given to me when I lost my dad as he knew it was something my mom would have wanted me to have since she knew how much I loved them.
Sunday, October 15, 2017
Sunday, October 8, 2017
Catch up and a glimpse into my head
I haven't really been writing lately......no where near as much as I normally do. Im sure none of you have really missed it as my life hasn't had a ton of updates. I started my new job ,well the training for it anyway. Im a billing specialist (basically Im the one you talk to when you call in about your bill) for Charter/spectrum. It has a lot of benefits that make getting yelled at sometimes from customers worth it. Its a lot of adulting for me,which may have had a small wall I hit when it came time to setting up my benefits.....I may have yelled for Herby and said "fix it,Im done adulting"
With that being said, I think Im gonna do a non adulting blog for a bit. Just some random topics and what not which as always Im open to suggestions or anything you want me to discuss, just shoot me a message.
Lets begin shall we? Today's topic :
Songs I listen to when I am:
With that being said, I think Im gonna do a non adulting blog for a bit. Just some random topics and what not which as always Im open to suggestions or anything you want me to discuss, just shoot me a message.
Lets begin shall we? Today's topic :
Songs I listen to when I am:
- Happy - True love by P!nk, Look what you made me do by Taylor swift, In the air tonight (cover) in this moment, sex metal barbie by in this moment
- Sad - remember everything by FFDP,Had Enough by Breaking Benjamin,Rain By Breaking Benjamin, Snuff by Slipknot, Hate Me by Blue October, Through the Glass by Stone Sour
- Bored -Truthfully I have an entire playlist of various songs I listen to when Im bored.The list includes a little from every possible genre so its often been referred to as being bipolar.
- Hyped - Sorry not Sorry by Demi Lovato, New Rules by Dua Lipa,Whore by in this moment, Sick Like me by in this moment, The fighter by in this moment,apocalyptic by Halestorm,I will not bow by Breaking Benjamin
- Mad - The Thunder Rolls(cover)by all that remains, Big Bad Wolf by in this moment, Jekyll and Hyde by FFDP, War is the answer by FFDP,Boots and Blood by FFDP
That being said this is NOT an exhausted or complete list,its merely a small glimpse into my head as I build play lists.
<3
Monday, September 25, 2017
Life as I know it
Life isn't easy,anyone who says it is is trying to sell you something.
However it is up to you to make your life happy. Ive worked hard on this. Its still not perfect but its getting there. I start work on Monday (my birthday!!) ,which i am a bit nervous about. Its a new situation and we all know I'm not the best with new situations.
Its been almost 6 months with Herby now and almost 2 months since Ive been here. In that small amount of time Ive managed to find a job ,take some life skills classes,make a few rl friends and Ive even begun to debate on going back to school as well. I have had a few struggles with depression and feeling worthless but Herby has been a very patient godsend in regards to that.I do think he feels a bit helpless as he cant do much for me but hes trying as best he can.
Ive found I don't do much for myself,so I am about to change that for the first time ever. I bought myself a laptop that I wanted ,after a ton of research into best for what I wanted. This week I will be doing a bit of self care before I start the new job. I got a hair cut,color and treatment package for an amazing price. I'm going on my day off class and will be taking care of me for once.Its something I need to do for me.
If I do choose to go back to school I have to probably go part time since I have to work to afford a place for me and the girls. Either that or go online.I dunno I guess we will just have to see.I may start this job and fall in love with it.
However it is up to you to make your life happy. Ive worked hard on this. Its still not perfect but its getting there. I start work on Monday (my birthday!!) ,which i am a bit nervous about. Its a new situation and we all know I'm not the best with new situations.
Its been almost 6 months with Herby now and almost 2 months since Ive been here. In that small amount of time Ive managed to find a job ,take some life skills classes,make a few rl friends and Ive even begun to debate on going back to school as well. I have had a few struggles with depression and feeling worthless but Herby has been a very patient godsend in regards to that.I do think he feels a bit helpless as he cant do much for me but hes trying as best he can.
Ive found I don't do much for myself,so I am about to change that for the first time ever. I bought myself a laptop that I wanted ,after a ton of research into best for what I wanted. This week I will be doing a bit of self care before I start the new job. I got a hair cut,color and treatment package for an amazing price. I'm going on my day off class and will be taking care of me for once.Its something I need to do for me.
If I do choose to go back to school I have to probably go part time since I have to work to afford a place for me and the girls. Either that or go online.I dunno I guess we will just have to see.I may start this job and fall in love with it.
Saturday, August 26, 2017
Beyond happy
So I've been here with Herby for 2 weeks now and I'm still beyond happy. This is honestly the best choice I could have ever made. The girls are so much happier,were safe and I finally feel that sense of home that's been missing ever since I left Chicago all those years ago. Herby is amazing and I'm a lucky girl to have ever caught his attention, all though I still think he could do better.
I'm still working on finding a job and an apartment for the girls and I,but I keep being told to be patient.
Today is Herby's birthday. I get to celebrate it with him and I'm excited about that. Even if he is a pain in the butt and won't tell me what he wants lol
Thursday, August 10, 2017
Tomorrow I leave
By this time tomorrow I will have already been on the road for several hours.
To say I'm nervous is an understatement. I'm terrified. Not really for what I'm doing or even who I am doing this with but more so of the prospect of all that could go wrong.I know I don't need to worry or stress, I have an amazing support system but I cant help it. I have high functioning anxiety plus (despite arguments to the contrary) this is really my first time being an adult. I'm nervous and I'm scared,yet I'm excited too.
Here's to a safe trip where memories will be made and new beginnings started.
To say I'm nervous is an understatement. I'm terrified. Not really for what I'm doing or even who I am doing this with but more so of the prospect of all that could go wrong.I know I don't need to worry or stress, I have an amazing support system but I cant help it. I have high functioning anxiety plus (despite arguments to the contrary) this is really my first time being an adult. I'm nervous and I'm scared,yet I'm excited too.
Here's to a safe trip where memories will be made and new beginnings started.
Sunday, July 30, 2017
Tomorrow starts a new path....
Tomorrow morning will change everything. Tomorrow morning will bring an end to over a decade.
As of tomorrow morning I will be divorced for the second time.
I know alot of people never saw this coming and even more right now are reading this while shocked. Not many knew he and I even separated,much less filed for divorce. To say its been less then acrimonious, would be an understatement but we are trying to coexist for the time being. We did come to an agreement so that we were able to get the divorce done and over with. Its not been without issues,fights and ordeals.However,in the end it will all be worth it. I will be leaving mid August to start over,the girls and I. It will be new for us and there is alot of unknown in our immediate future,yet that's nothing we fear.
I keep ending up in my head and its hard to get out of sometimes. I worry about the future and how well I will do with the girls on my own. I'm not the most optimistic type of person, I'm more of a pessimistic type,the one who comes up with ever possible negative known to man that could happen. So its naturally messed with me quite a bit. I thought by now, I would have so much more stability and a decent life established not just for me but for the kids,yet here I am uprooting them and starting all over again. Despite knowing I'm doing this for all the right reasons, I still cant help but feel a bit like a disappointment over it. This is one of those times where I wish my Momma and Dad were still alive. Even if I would have had to listen to my dad give me shit (that was his way of dealing with negatives.....be an ass but make me laugh so I stop feeling down....I can almost hear him saying "you really need to quit picking dumb-asses and marrying them" ) and I could really use my mommas hugs right now (and possibly her chocolate chip cookies.....yes I know her recipe but cookies are always better when you don't have to make them yourself ).
I feel so overwhelmed by everything were doing,by the packing ,the move, the actual trip. I think that's why I keep dropping back into little space. I cant stand feeling so out of control and overwhelmed but in this instance, I don't have much of a choice. I don't regret it or whats going on at all,nor do I doubt that its the right thing. Its just alot of work by myself and its scary. Its alot of adulting and I'm not always the best at being an adult.
On the plus side, in the process of packing up my stuff I found my Night Fury stuffy again.
As of tomorrow morning I will be divorced for the second time.
I know alot of people never saw this coming and even more right now are reading this while shocked. Not many knew he and I even separated,much less filed for divorce. To say its been less then acrimonious, would be an understatement but we are trying to coexist for the time being. We did come to an agreement so that we were able to get the divorce done and over with. Its not been without issues,fights and ordeals.However,in the end it will all be worth it. I will be leaving mid August to start over,the girls and I. It will be new for us and there is alot of unknown in our immediate future,yet that's nothing we fear.
I keep ending up in my head and its hard to get out of sometimes. I worry about the future and how well I will do with the girls on my own. I'm not the most optimistic type of person, I'm more of a pessimistic type,the one who comes up with ever possible negative known to man that could happen. So its naturally messed with me quite a bit. I thought by now, I would have so much more stability and a decent life established not just for me but for the kids,yet here I am uprooting them and starting all over again. Despite knowing I'm doing this for all the right reasons, I still cant help but feel a bit like a disappointment over it. This is one of those times where I wish my Momma and Dad were still alive. Even if I would have had to listen to my dad give me shit (that was his way of dealing with negatives.....be an ass but make me laugh so I stop feeling down....I can almost hear him saying "you really need to quit picking dumb-asses and marrying them" ) and I could really use my mommas hugs right now (and possibly her chocolate chip cookies.....yes I know her recipe but cookies are always better when you don't have to make them yourself ).
I feel so overwhelmed by everything were doing,by the packing ,the move, the actual trip. I think that's why I keep dropping back into little space. I cant stand feeling so out of control and overwhelmed but in this instance, I don't have much of a choice. I don't regret it or whats going on at all,nor do I doubt that its the right thing. Its just alot of work by myself and its scary. Its alot of adulting and I'm not always the best at being an adult.
On the plus side, in the process of packing up my stuff I found my Night Fury stuffy again.
Sunday, March 19, 2017
Ex's
I posted a picture on Fb that triggered an ex gf to message. In the process of talking to her I heard something that Ive heard before,actually rather recently, in regards to thinking about or even remaining friends with ex's.
Apparently some have the belief that once a person is an ex they should cease to exist. While this may be the case in some circumstances (a bad split,violent relationship,or just a shitty person in general for example) its not always the case.
Im friends with a large chunk of my ex's,to varying degrees of how close I am to them. One of my best friends is an ex gf who I spent the majority of my formative years with. Maybe Im delusional (god knows that wouldn't be the first time thats been said about me) but I feel people come into your life for a reason.They make an impact, good or bad. There is no reason to ever forget anyone who has ever had an effect on you. Its those people who helped form you into who you are today. Its not just family ,parents or authority figures who mold you,its all relationships,romantic or otherwise.
Plus in all reality, anyone whos ever dated me deserves an award for bravery ,so who the hell am I to not be a force of support for someone who probably has PTSD from dating me?
<3
Apparently some have the belief that once a person is an ex they should cease to exist. While this may be the case in some circumstances (a bad split,violent relationship,or just a shitty person in general for example) its not always the case.
Im friends with a large chunk of my ex's,to varying degrees of how close I am to them. One of my best friends is an ex gf who I spent the majority of my formative years with. Maybe Im delusional (god knows that wouldn't be the first time thats been said about me) but I feel people come into your life for a reason.They make an impact, good or bad. There is no reason to ever forget anyone who has ever had an effect on you. Its those people who helped form you into who you are today. Its not just family ,parents or authority figures who mold you,its all relationships,romantic or otherwise.
Plus in all reality, anyone whos ever dated me deserves an award for bravery ,so who the hell am I to not be a force of support for someone who probably has PTSD from dating me?
<3
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