Seriously?!?!?

I don't know what's going on with my life right now. First it was fighting to get the kids back,getting them home only to find out how badly he screwed their minds up.Mary's acting out and shutting down all at the same time and Jr getting full on violent with a new love for cussing that he cant seem to control. Yes I know Jr is still off his medication and normal treatments,but hopefully that will be changed come Monday.

Then you have me. I'm decided to work through my issues on my own with the help of what's his face and Prayer(LOTS of prayer) with a bit of meditation thrown in for good measure.But now I have physical issues that are getting worse rather then better.My headaches are back,I have no energy ,sleep for ungodly amounts of time and am lethargic to a painful degree. Yet that's not the worse part of it. I've got a pain in my lower right side,in my abdomen,almost into the pelvis area that is throbbing and hurting and I have a pain on the same side same area,but in my back as well. I have no idea What it is or is causing it. It hurts to sit,to stand,to breathe,hell I just sneezed and cried out in pain. Going to a doc isn't really an option(yay for being broke) and well we all know my ability to take massive OTC meds and how well they work......so I'm at a loss.

Last but not least,I have John. Supportive,loving,attempting to kill himself via BK ,nerd of mine.He and I have struggled over the last year,have went from barely speaking to close as humanly possible to drifting apart and back again. He said something the other day,during one of the many issues we have had as of late with the kids while talking to me alone that broke my heart and I don't have a way to fix it. He looked at me and said," I'll always be step dad.I'll never be any one's dad" I appreciate his honesty but Ive always been the type to fix things of those who I love and are hurting. I cant fix this one. I didn't know and still don't know how to respond to that.

So yea,life is full of fun times for me.....So fun I can barely contain the excitement.
O yea,I almost forgot ,Mary and Mya tried to steal while we were at Kroger earlier,only to have Jr rat them out.

*sighs,shrugs,and wanders off to put away laundry*