Lost and Found

Ive been fairly silent for a little bit now,I was sorta lost I guess in some ways. Cycling,dealing with a break up and the inevitable aftermath/fallout that happens kinda threw me off kilter for a bit.It was a loss and a shitty one at that. I considered them to be two of my best friends, people who I let in and thought were close to me,but like everyone else....they left.It hurt,still does on some levels,and in all honesty probably will for awhile until I fully heal.

Yet,Ive noticed despite that loss,Ive started to find my self again. Ive found the smile that started to fade the longer I was with them. Ive found .well more like reconnected, with my family again and even increased it in size. Ive found that side of me that I put on a shelf so that I didnt make her feel threatened by me (although that was pointless,jussayin) being a part of his life. Ive found things that make me happy to do and re-immersed myself in things I forgot that entertained me.Most importantly though, Ive found that while I do miss the connection I had with him and with her,I can form connections with others who fullfill what holes they seem to have left behind.


I dont want anyone to ever think I regret being with him or being with her,nor do I regret any aspect of the relationship. Ive grown from it,learned from it, and feel I have become an even better person. Giving him the chances I did was unusual for me but I felt that pull to him. I had to explore it. I am thankful ,though it was a rough road, that I was able to do so. Doing so helped me to learn more about various aspects of non traditional relationships and reaffirmed many beliefs I already had in place.

so basically ,yes I hurt,but I have a lot of gratitude towards them for all of the lessons learned and previous thoughts confirmed. I lost them,but seem to have found myself once again.