Ive been doing alot of praying and introspection about things. Alot has been going on and changing in our lives recently and its caused it.
Ive prayed about the move,if it was the right or wrong thing,where we should be,what I should do about the kid situation and about how to deal with Kevin.
I know where we need to be,where we are supposed to be and even how we will get there (eventually since the US government makes the time schedules).
I know that while Kevin is pressuring me to give him Jr it isn't the right thing for him. I know that while Jr wants to live with Kevin he isn't mature enough to understand what that means or the ramifications of it. He is 12 but not mentally understanding whats going on due to his delays. He still thinks he can just come see me on the weekends and live with Kevin during the week. He isn't grasping that he wouldn't see me until summer. He goes back and forth between his love for Georgia (even wants to play for the Dawgs when he grows up which is a HUGE change from a die hard mountaineer fan) and wanting to live there and his love for his dad. Its confusing for a normal boy who's only 12 much less a boy with special needs and a history that includes PTSD.
I know how to deal with Kevin.
I have to honestly pray for him. I have to forgive him for all that he is done to me and that he has yet to do to me. I have to forgive him for his trespasses as God has forgiven me. I will pray for God to soften his heart and his eyes to see that I am not doing this for any negative reasons. I pray he can see that I am doing what is best for the kids.
I know this move is going to cause a battle. I know it will be a fight. I am fairly positive I will get called things that aren't exactly my name.
And I will smile,nod and pray.
Its not my battle to fight alone and I wont.
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