Submissive needs

"A submissive has needs"

"What are some of your needs as a submissive?"

The topic came across in one of the groups Im in on facebook. When I seen it, I was sorta smacked with a reality. I dont think Ive ever discussed my needs as a submissive. Ive always worried about caring for and making sure my Dom's needs were met. I guess in many ways I have managed to neglect myself ( I know a shock to any of those who actually know me *Sarcasm*) and as a result perhaps led to my own unhappiness/lack of fulfillment in many ways.

So what are some of the needs I have as a submissive?

This has not been an easy topic to think on. I loathe introspection. My brain works at a scary pace and can be a dark place so i try my best to stay out of it as much as possible.However when Im writing something like this, its rather impossible to stay out I suppose.

~I need to feel safe

** I struggle with trust issues. I admit to it. I need to feel safe enough that I can open up to you and know that you wont hurt me in anyway. Opening up as a submissive is hard enough due to the amount of vulnerability that is shown,I need to know I can trust you with the most sensitive side to me.

~I need consistency

** I need that comfort thats found in having the known happen as a result of an action.This sorta ties into the next one in a way.

~I need structure

** I need the rules,the structure,the consiquences. and I need them enforced on a regular basis. I know Im a brat and I will push just to see what I can get away with, but I need that wall there to push against that wont give way like a crumbling foundation.

~I need affection

** This one might be a bit more of a surprise for those who think they know me.Ive been told on more then one occasion I come off as a bitch . Ive been told numerous times that when people first meet me they get the vibe to go the other direction ,almost as if a warning of danger. Reality is Im a needy babygirl who wants loved on ,cuddled,hugged,petted,kissed...... I need affection. I crave it. Physical ,emtional and verbal even. Being told when they heard a song or seen something ,I came to mind will give me a smile that lasts for hours and makes me feel so loved (not to mention safe).

~I need time

** I dont need all of your time but I do need some. I dont like feeling like an afterthought or an obligation. I need to know you want that time with me as much as I want it with you. Sometimes alone,sometimes with friends,but I need time.

~I need to feel valued and wanted

**  This one is really hard,simply because I have rather low self worth and struggle to understand why anyone would want me. I need you to push to make me see myself the way you do. I need to know you value me and want me but I also need you to show me that. 

~I need your approval and reassurance

** This sorta ties in with the low self esteem. I need to be reassured on a variety of things often. I need to hear how you think I look,how much you love what Ive done,what Im wearing, the things Ive shared with you. I need you to tell me I did a good job or that Im a good girl. I need to know if I open up that you are going to be proud of me. I need you to be honest with me when you do so though. If I look like crap or I shared something with you I wrote and it sucked......I need you to tell me so. Its the only way I can improve myself and I want to be the best I can be,for both of us.

I know there should be more and I might go back and edit or rewrite this when/if I think of more. At the moment though,I think this is enough of a look into my head. I dont know, maybe my needs are weird or not common. I know a few are probably a surprise to some,but very few read the stuff I write anyway .