So how was your day?

   Today was long to say the least.I went roughly 36 hours before i finally laid down for about a 30 minute nap.however before i could even get to that point,i had to go to the doctor.it wasn't exactly a visit i was looking forward to but at the same time I wasn't dreading it either.he asked what was new since he last saw me,and that's all it took.it all came flooding out (kinda rapidly mind you,very manic like lol) to the point he stopped me told me to breathe and repeat.so I told him," well my ex has went back to being verbally,mentally and emotionally abusive this time pretty much with the ok from the court,I'm still fighting to get my babies back from him and i haven't slept in almost 2 days." so he basically decided to pick it apart and address each side of things ,which included an increase in one of my medications and adding back in full time therapy for the ptsd. he also stated that whenever it is ready and needed all that the court has to do is ask and my records with full diagnosis will be ready ,including the proof that i am not lying about what i endured during my marriage(something the ex has repeatedly said)

   so then i left there ran to the store with the gnomish and got a few more things for the kids. nothing real huge just some notebooks for them to write in while they are here and stuff like that. then I came home and ate then sat on the couch in an attempt to nap.my phone rings and its our worker asking if she can come a little early so she can do some of the parenting stuff with me.I said sure and she was here by 2:30.at 4 was the visit with the kids,which of course he was late getting them to and he isn't even the one who bothered to bring them.he had someone else bring them instead. my babies were here though!!!! kyle wanted to make a card for his math teacher who had surgery on her hand so we did,which led Mary to wanting to make one for her daddy.she picked it out we printed it and then she had everyone sign it. it made me want to cry cuz i knew how he was gonna react when he saw it. this separation is killing him as much as it is me. well then the food showed up,so we ate Chinese ,then went outside and played. overall we had a good visit.
  then the ex came to pick the kids up.from the moment they see him their whole demeanor changes,even our worker commented on that.but either way,the worker walked up to the ex and told him this week there will be 3 visits to make up for the missed one from last week,since the kids are off school anyway it wont hinder anything. the ex kinda threw a fit over this,but our worker really didn't care.it is only fair. well then the ex left and our worker was getting ready to leave ,but before driving off tells me to text her and let her know if the ex doesn't let me talk to the kids this weekend.its a violation of the court order and will be addressed if he doesn't.

 so basically as hopeless as he has made me feel over the course of the last week or so,after today it really does feel like i have been given back some of my strength and that i really do have some people who see the truth for what it really is.

for that I am truly grateful,

letha