Did the title get your attention?
Good.
As of late,Ive been called this and worse,all because some don't understand who I am or what I believe.
See,Ive never been one to hide anything.Mostly out of laziness but partially due to an inability to give a shit what other people think about me.
I am bisexual,polyamorous,Eclectic Pagan with Christian roots and a strong belief in hedge/kitchen/Celtic witchcraft. I am into BDSM,primarily in the DDbg aspects of the lifestyle with bits of others added in to make my life uniquely mine. I am a survivor of mental,physical and sexual abuse/violence. I am sick but try my best to not let my illness rule me. I am Bipolar with severe depression,social anxiety and PTSD. I am also fighting Fibromyalgia which has me in pretty consistent pain most days,with some days making it hard to even walk.Then theres the small issue with my spine that's a left over gift from my ex husbands violence and the debilitating headaches that I promise suck more dick then I ever could.
What does any of that have to do with the title I used? Well over the course of the last 24 hours my life has been called to the carpet by people who have less then full knowledge. These people are family, in the blood related sense anyway, and I wish to only be as considerate as humanly possible by helping them have full information. I would hate for them to make half assed accusations based on what someone who's full sexual experience is by taking as many dicks as she possibly can from various bosses or otherwise taken men while shes "at work" and her (now ex) husband watches the kids. The same family member who while working at a Factory in Lowell would drive by the married man she was fucking's ,her boss none the less,house to see if his wife was there and use the bullshit excuse she wanted to see our aunt who lived in the neighborhood ( who had nothing to do with her since she tried to give her daughter to the other aunt,saying she could adopt her only to take her back at the last moment) .The same one who would have her baby sister help cover her ass with her school by getting her to write her papers for college so she could actually pass as opposed to failing like she was when the 16 yr old runaway baby sister came to stay with her. The same one who got her baby sister into drugs. Nothing hardcore mind you, was just pot but prior to living with her the little sister was fairly clean in that regard (underage drinking on occasion but 90% of the stupid shit done was done while sober before then).
There is alot more ( like the time where the older sister lost her mind,snapped,beat the older brother with a hammer,curling Iron and then strangling him with a phone cord all over their mom saying she couldn't take the little sister with her) but the point of this wasn't to call her out as well. No, it was more or less correcting trains of thought or at least giving more information. I do not deny being sick,twisted or a deviant. I shine in all those areas like the brightest of stars. I just want you to be more informed so you can ,at the very least, make your attempted insults that much more accurate.......
Then again, I did all the writing for you,so you probably just aren't able to form better insults or even really understand any of this now are you?
damn.
<3
Wednesday, January 11, 2017
Friday, January 6, 2017
Still not any easier
It was a long time ago, but its still not any easier. Its 24 years today.24 years ago today I went from a shy,quiet,intelligent 11 year old little girl to a lost,lonely,scared girl who become older in mind then in body. 24 years ago today I lost the woman responsible for that damn accent I have, the reason my name sounds as hillbilly as it does, the woman who would provide inspiration in the name for my oldest daughter. I was only 11 when cancer took her from me after a very brief fight,and I miss her everyday.
I love you more today then yesterday but less then tomorrow,Ma.
PS....Its only fitting that I will be seeing Beauty and the Beast with your namesake when it is released. I think it will be the perfect time to explain why that movie means so much to me.
Sunday, January 1, 2017
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