What the fuck......

I know Im typically a rather reserved and quite person (quit fucking laughing) but I found out more bullshit today in regards to an ex.

Why the fuck would you purposely and knowingly go to a club owned by your ex whom you havent spoken to since the split? Even more so when you have done nothing but be negative in regards to one of the 2 ex's that run the club. Why would you purposely seek out those places? I dont wanna hear "well maybe she didnt know" The person she showed up with is one of the hubby's regulars.She knew.

Ive kept quite about alot of the shit that went on,but this kinda set me off. I cant help but wonder if her husband even knows she purposely looked for her ex boyfriends male strip club.

Its bad enough she hurt me.Its bad enough shes still clinging on to that "bisexual" title but used the excuse of "religious guilt" as her reason for wanting to break up without actually saying she wanted the break up, she naturally left it on me to read between the lines of what she was saying..Maybe its just me, but if you are feeling guilty ,via your "Christianity",over your "sexuality" then why would you still claim it. I mean if the guilt was real, you would no longer act on it right? So then why if have it in your profile? Oh thats right....Attention.God forbid you dont have all the attention on you.

Here's the thing, I hate to be the barer of bad news but you can show up all you want at Rogue. Hell show up when Im there....Fuck apply to be a DJ there.You are a non fucking factor. All the attraction that was once there, is honestly gone.To be 100% truthful,looking back, Im not even completely sure how much was an actual attraction to you and how much was just given to you due to the bond and attraction I had to your other half.

That being said, I did consider you a friend. I opened up to you in alot of ways I normally dont, at least not to many. I did mourn the loss of that friendship. It hurt like hell not hearing from either of you during or after the hurricane hit us despite at that time we were supposed to still be "friends" and I texted you both much like I did everyone else to let them know we were safe. I was even upset slightly on my birthday when I didnt hear from either of you, though I didnt expect it anyway.

I think thats why everyone waited for me to break like I did the first time you caused a split between me and him,yet this time it never happened. Sure I shed a few tears,but nothing like the first time. There have been glimpses of anger ,that come with healing, but I was expecting it for so long that even those arent that bad. Hell I realized the other day,that I can see him online and it no longer bothers me.That last time I talked to him,a a couple weeks or so ago, it had no negative effect,if anything it was like it was back when I first met him. I kept him at an arms length and everything was good.

I guess the point of this really is while I dont understand or get your motive, I couldnt really care less.To further prove that point:

I work at FinDoMina. You are more then welcome to show up anytime.
You already know about Rogue.

Come see me anytime,although we both know you wont.