facing adversity with a smile.

  Its Saturday which means naturally my phone calls to him are ignored. I do have to say this is the first time since he began this childish crap that i didn't get depressed or upset.Granted John,Aly and Des all kept asking if I was ok.....but I'm pretty sure that was out of habit.

  about 9 or so,my texts started blowing up.....it was him. He basically says he is not allowing me to speak with the kids anymore at all,but will let me still see them twice a week. Keep in mind,the calls and visits are court ordered and he is not in control of them at all,which also means every time he stops me from speaking to the kids....hes in contempt of court.

  Now I know you are prolly curious as to what pushed him over the edge ,again ,this time.Well my phone rang about 1230 this morning(when most people are in bed.) and it scared the hell out of me.Why? Simply putting it,if your phone rings that late...you normally have a little fear.When your phone rings that late ,its the ring tone you gave to your violently abusive ex who has your children....well you get scared shit less....

  Well I answer the phone and hear my baby boy (JR) on the line.I ask him whats wrong and get told he couldn't sleep,he was hurting and scared .I asked where everyone was (asleep) and if they knew he had the phone(no cuz no one would wake up).I spent about 30 mins on the phone with him comforting and calming him down so he could go to sleep....then he starts texting me begging me to not be mad at him but he likes talking to me and stuff like that.All of which I tell him Im not mad but I want him to get some rest and stuff so he doesn't get in trouble.He finally goes to sleep about 2 AM....then I get a wake up text from him saying good morning and that he loves me and is feeling better.He also called me and said good morning.My guess is He found out about the calls and texts and is pissed off....and prolly going to try and use it against me judging by the wording of his threats when HE texted me this evening to tell me im not allowed to call anymore.

  Theres just a small problem with it and the main reason I am not worried about it. I knew once Jr told me no one knew he was on the phone that no one was listening.....so I recorded the call.Paranoid? Yea maybe....but at the same time....can you  honestly say if you had went through the hell Ive been through that you wouldn't be as well? I doubt it.

  Truth be told....the abuse I still am subjected to from him is almost ....I don't want to say worth it cuz that's not the right wording.....but understandable. My babies love me.and I will do whatever I have to,endure whatever I have to,obtain whatever is needed for them to be returned to where they belong.

With Love

Letha

one small afterthought that makes me smile~ recently,during my meeting the other day,it was stated by a certain female, that my kids aren't exactly"begging to speak to me on the weekends anyway". I think that late night phone call from a phone taken  while the adults were asleep,proves otherwise,just a bit.